Royal Ramblings

North Dakota Still Looks Good

2009-11-06T11:24:00.000-08:00

A year ago, I drew up a little map showing the unemployment rate in each state.

Here's another one, with the same color scheme:

Green states have unemployment below 4% (none in Sept. '09).
Olive states have unemployment between 4% and 5%.
Yellow states have unemployment between 5% and 6% (none in Sept. '09).
Maroon states have unemployment between 6% and 7%.
Red states have unemployment between 7% and 8%.
Magenta states have unemployment above 8%.

Things don't look so good this year, huh?

What should the government do? Perhaps they should take money away from citizens when the citizens need it most and also make it difficult for business owners to hire new employees? Does that sound good? What, no? Because that's what we're doing. . .

Wild Horse Wind Farm

2009-11-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday, we stopped by this really huge art installation on Whiskey Dick Mountain in eastern Kittitas County.

The giant towers had these huge three-pronged blades slowly rotating (although, truth be told, not all of them were spinning). The sign at the gate claimed they were farming the wind.

It looked really expensive, but cool.

There was a visitor center on the ridge. It mentioned that these towers generated some electricity, but it wasn't really all that much. Just 337 kW for the whole art installation at the time of our visit.

Impressive structures, though.

Election Update

2009-11-05T09:04:00.000-08:00

With King County's forced vote-by-mail, election totals are slow to tally. But here's an update on the two tightest races in the county:

STEVENS PASS SEWER DISTRICT
Ballots Cast/Registered Voters: 1/9 (11.11%)

Commissioner Position No. 1 - unexpired 2-year term
- Michael Crandall: 1 (100.00%)
- Write-in: 0 (0.00%)

Commissioner Position No. 2
- Tom Maher: 1 (100.00%)
- Write-in: 0 (0.00%)

I'll be sure to keep you posted!

V Recap

2009-11-04T07:56:00.000-08:00

Some people love the aliens.

Some people hate the aliens.

Some people are the aliens.

Eat! Eat!

2009-11-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

Happy Holy Day of Nokí!

She's the Goddess of Food, so you'd better be eating today. Or else She'll smack you with Her giant club o' death. Watch out!

That's the way to eat. Hooray for Nokí!

Hey, What's That?

2009-10-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

"Hey, What's That?" is a cool website that will show you a panorama skyline from anywhere in the world.

Take a look at one I did for the west end of the I-90 bridge. Mt Rainier is the most prominent feature (apart from Mt Baker Ridge in Seattle), but Mt Baker is visible to the north, Mt Index to the northeast, and Tiger Mountain just visible over Mercer Island to the east.

You can click on anywhere on the map, and it will highlight the direction on the panorama, and vice versa. Click on a red triangle over a peak on the panorama and it will show you which mountain it is on the map. Can you find Glacier Peak?

On the map, if you click "Visibility cloak" in the upper right, it will shade everything you can see from the viewpoint. Then you can zoom in on Mt Rainier or wherever and see which features you can actually view from Seattle.

You can also click on "New panorama" near the top of the page and create your own!

Fun fun fun.

Happy United Nations Day!

2009-10-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

Down with the U.N.!

Down with the Club of Tyrants!

Down with the U.N.!

Down with the Club of Tyrants!

Happy United Nations Day!

Dahlias

2009-10-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

At our house, it appears the official dahlia month is October. We have six or seven different varieties blooming right now -- even more flowers than our year-round roses!

And here's a photo:

Celebrate Our Defender!

2009-10-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

Rock on, Rékaré. Rock on.

When I Lend a Camera. . .

2009-10-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

Chunlin took a business trip last week (her first!) to a convention in Raleigh. I lent her my small camera.

Unfortunately, I forgot that I'd left the camera set to take a group of sixteen photos, back to back, as one photo.

These are two of the photos she took while confusion reigned.

I can just imagine her asking, "What's wrong with this camera?"

She called me at about the same time she took this picture and I quickly realized the problem, but didn't remember where in the menu she could change the setting. Luckily Chunlin found the setting (at exactly the same time that I found the right page in the manual (after downloading it)) and correct the problem.

Nice photos, though!

Happy Ríhíví Day!

2009-10-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Heal us, o wondrous Ríhíví! Heal us with Your hot springs! Heal us with Your motherly touch!

Thank you. I promise to be nice to cats!

Where's Chunlin?

2009-10-15T14:46:00.001-07:00

Do you see her?

Nile Valley Slide

2009-10-14T16:49:00.001-07:00

A good overall photo of the massive landslide in Yakima County. Many more good ones alongside it, too.

I wonder what 410 will look like when I next drive it. . .

Fine vs. Okay

2009-10-14T15:56:00.000-07:00

When describing your well-being as "fine," it usually means exactly the same as a description of "okay."

On the other hand, when describing a woman as "okay," it most definitely does not mean the same thing as describing her as "fine."

Apocalypse 2012

2009-10-12T16:18:00.001-07:00

If you want to make a prediction, choose something you'll still be around after, so you can gloat.

Farts in an Igloo

2009-10-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we took a dayhike up to Headlee Pass along the Mountain Loop Highway, then stopped for dinner at a popular Mexican restaurant in Granite Falls, from which we took leftovers home. We put the leftovers in the trunk.

Once home, I opened the trunk to get the food, my backpack, boots, etc. and -- I think it was the combination of the cold air and the combined odors -- I was suddenly reminded of winter camping. . .

Flickr Censorship

2009-10-08T14:14:00.000-07:00

Apparently someone complained about at least one of my Fremont Solstice Parade photos, or the photos finally reached a popularity level so that Flickr noticed them.

Either way, this morning, Flickr informed me that they had marked all my photos as "restricted" without any precise reasoning:

Hello Sotosoroto,

We've changed the safety level of your photostream to "restricted".

As per [sic] our Community Guidelines, content like that in your account is not considered "safe" for everyone to view. You may or may not be aware that Flickr has a Safe Search system. When people browse or search on Flickr, they can filter what they see based on a safety level that they are comfortable with - either Safe Search is on, set to moderate, or off. In order for Safe Search to work, we relying on *you* to filter your content appropriately. As you upload stuff to Flickr, you need to make sure that you're applying appropriate filters (safe, moderate or restricted) and telling us what sort of content it is (photos, video, screenshots, art & illustration). If you don't apply filters correctly, there's a very good chance another member will let us know - in fact that's why we've taken action today. (No need to be upset - it's every member's right to let us know if they ever feel uncomfortable. Yours too.)

We want Flickr to be a place that everyone can enjoy. That means making sure that potentially offensive content is filtered from public, safe areas of the site. If you read our Community Guidelines, you'll see the key points are: play nice, upload things that you have created yourself, and respect the fact that there are millions of people visiting Flickr who may not see the world the same way you do. Use your common sense about whether or not your content is suitable for a global, public audience. If the answer is no, you need to filter it from public view.

You should also know that if we receive another report about your content or conduct, it's very likely we'll terminate your account.

So, please take a moment to find out how to work with safety levels, use 'em, and everybody's happy!

Regards,
Flickr Staff

Since I could guess that they were talking about the nude photos from the Fremont parade, I sent them this query:

What can I do to change my overall level from restricted back to safe?

I have a few dozen photos of nude men and women, but those were taken during a parade on a city street with thousands of men, women, and children in attendence, so I left them as safe.

Flickr's reply (in part):

All sexualized/nude content in your photostream needs to be classified as "restricted".

To which I asked:

Why do non-sexualized nudes need to be "restricted"?

and

What's flickr's definition of "nude," by the way?

Flickr's replies:

The Flickr filters are set up so that Flickr users can choose whether they are comfortable with seeing nude content or not.

Nude/sexualized content = Female breasts, bare/thong bottom, see through topless nudity, nude body paint, pasties, Genitalia/pubic hair, etc...

To which I replied:

That should be made clear in the content guidelines. They're very vague with the whole "grandma" thing.

Out of curiosity: Is there a difference in flickr's policy between "artsy" nudes and snapshots?

FYI: Public nudity is legal in Seattle if it is not lewd, but I know other places have stricter regulations.

Hm. That's more restrictive than the legal definition in most cities. Perhaps that should be posted in flickr's guidelines, as well.

Flickr's response:

Feel free to write back after you have made the necessary changes to your photostream.

So I sent them one more question:

What about people who don't mind nudity but don't want to see the hard-core graphic sex photos that dominate the "restricted" setting (gynological closeups, cum shots, etc. etc.)? Isn't that what "moderate" is for?

Flickr's final reply:

Unfortunately, we do not have the staff resources to continue this back and forth dialog. You have been given the parameters on how to moderate your content within the Flickr Community Guidelines. Feel free to write back after you have made the necessary changes to your photostream.

It's too bad they don't have the staff resources to provide precise and clear directions in their guidelines! I'm sure that would save them a lot of questions like mine from other disgruntled (paying) users.

. . . Well, at least we finally know what the Flickr censors say is acceptable!

Multiple Highway Route Vectors

2009-10-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

This is one of only two triple-numbered stretches of highway in Washington. This one's in Yakima. Where's the other?

Whenever I see multiple directions on a highway sign like this, I try to calculate the resulting vector in my head. This one's almost due southeast (82+12 vs. 97). (The highway itself is running almost due south, though.)

Holy Night of Tarénara Tomorrow!

2009-10-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

I know your calendar says today is the Holy Day of Tarénara, but the real celebration is tomorrow night, when the moon is full.

So you'd better get ready. Take your bow and arrow, go out into the woods, and dance the sacred Dance of the Hunt! Maybe you'll find a worthy stag to dance with. . . or perhaps even Tarénara's Golden Caribou doe, with antlers of gold and hooves of bronze!

Also, don't forget to take your mooncakes. Yummy, yummy mooncakes.

Can I have another mooncake, please?

IMPORTANT!!

2009-10-02T09:25:00.001-07:00

I have discovered that I don't fully read emails that begin "IMPORTANT PLEASE READ."

I guess I just don't like being told what to do.

Flange Tip Thickness

2009-10-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

What in the world is the difference between "full flange tip thickness" and "half flange tip thickness"? I'm guessing 50%, but 50% of what? What's a flange tip thickness??

Private Division I FBS Universities

2009-09-30T16:44:00.000-07:00

Only a few of the universities participating in NCAA's Division I FBS (previously I-A) are privately owned. Most are state-owned or controlled (and three are military-controlled).

Next time you're watching college football, consider the fact that all the teams except the seventeen listed below are government-run, paid for by tax dollars.

Baylor
Boston College
Brigham Young
Duke
Miami (Florida)
Northwestern
Notre Dame
Rice
Southern California
Southern Methodist
Stanford
Syracuse
Texas Christian
Tulane
Tulsa
Vanderbilt
Wake Forest

Green Lights Galore

2009-09-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

The stop lights are all green this morning and the roads are empty. . .

Articles of Confederation

2009-09-29T15:35:00.001-07:00

For curiosity's sake, here is Article XI of the Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union, which created the United States of America, legally binding as of March 1, 1781 (later overridden by some other fancy document):

XI.
Canada acceding to this confederation, and adjoining in the measures of the United States, shall be admitted into, and entitled to all the advantages of this Union; but no other colony shall be admitted into the same, unless such admission be agreed to by nine States.

For some reason, Canada never took them up on their offer.

The Wataugans tried, but only got seven states' support for the State of Franklin.

The Tale of Huro

2009-09-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

Today is the Holy Day of Huro, God of Thunder and Protector of Civilization.

Protect us, Huro!

Huro’s birth by Nuvíní, High Goddess of Earth and Queen of the Gods, was witnessed by Nuvíní’s mother Rana, Goddess of Clouds; Rana’s mother Rakazhazhíní, Goddess of Clean Air; Nuvíní’s other grandmother Kara, Goddess of Soil; and Nuvíní’s motherly aunt Ríhíví, Goddess of Hot Springs and Poisonous Water. All the goddesses wanted to attend the birth of Huro, Who would surely become the next King of the Gods.

So as not to draw the wrath of Her husband Sozho, current King of the Gods and High God of Air, Nuvíní left infant Huro in the care of a flock of giant, fierce chickens, far from Sozho’s eagle-eye gaze and His violent, self-protective nature. She knew that Sozho would see Huro as a threat to His reign, and rightfully so. The warrior birds trained Huro well the skills He would need in life; soon Huro was the strongest and most skilled fighter in all the universe. Also, Huro was the son of Pétíso, God of Death, and not Sozho.

When Huro was fully grown and ready, Nuvíní charged Him with the task of protecting Her civilization of human beings from the forces of chaos, evil, and the malevolent wilderness and desert. This Huro did with conviction and power. When destructive winds blew down upon a city, Huro would throw His lightning bolts and stop the wind dead. When rampaging barbarians and demons threatened a town, Huro would be there to tear the invaders to pieces with His bare hands, His thunder frightening the barbarians back into the desert.

There came a time when the civilized kingdom of Rokího was invaded by the Toloans, who stole many head of cattle as well as the king’s daughter. Huro instantly leapt to the defense of Rokího. The Toloans retreated from the mighty god, Who pursued them all the way back to the ramshackle collection of huts known as Tolo. Before Huro could crush the barbarian village, a club-wielding god rose in His path: Rékaré, God of Rock.

With only His bare hands as weapons, Huro wrestled Rékaré to the ground, ripped the stone club from His grasp, and beat Rékaré senseless with His own weapon. Rékaré’s two sons, Ténuzho and Vusuzho, screamed in rage and charged Huro, but Huro smote Them dead with a pair of lightning bolts. As Their ash drifted to the earth, Huro razed the village of Tolo utterly and completely, for the Toloans had dared to attack a civilized nation. Huro would stop at nothing to uphold His vow.

Soon thereafter, Huro married the exquisitely beautiful Rézhíní, Goddess of Plants, Whose soft-flowing blonde hair was the envy of all the goddesses. After Rézhíní rebuffed the advances of Zhíanoso, High God of Fire, Zhíanoso snuck into Their bedchamber and cut off Her long, golden locks. Huro awoke to see the fire god escaping out the window, blonde hair trailing from His hand. Huro dove after Him, snagged Zhíanoso with one hand, and gripped Him tightly as They tumbled to the ground. They landed with a thud, whereupon Huro pinned Zhíanoso easily. The sky filled with lightning from Huro’s rage, His thunder shaking the earth beneath Them. Zhíanoso tried to burn Huro away, but Huro merely absorbed the flames into His own lightning, scorching trees and mountains all around. Zhíanoso changed form into a mosquito, then a bear, then a rat, then an alligator; but whatever form Zhíanoso assumed, Huro maintained His hold.

When Zhíanoso finally realized the situation, He begged for His freedom. Huro agreed, so long as Zhíanoso would provide Rézhíní with replacement hair of the finest gold thread, as well as two weapons for Himself: a war hammer that would be strong enough to knock down mountains, small enough to tuck into His belt, and nimble enough to return to His hand when He threw it, after it hit its target; and a belt that would double Huro’s strength when He wore it. Zhíanoso accepted the conditions and proclaimed that Rívorí, Goddess of Wildfire, could and would produce all these items for Huro and Rézhíní.

Huro released Zhíanoso; Zhíanoso went to Rívorí’s forge; Rívorí fashioned the hair and weapons; and Zhíanoso grudgingly presented them to Huro. Rézhíní once again was beautiful. Huro was now unstoppable. To test His new weapon, Huro threw His hammer at a distant buffalo. The hammer smashed into the beast’s head, felling it dead, whereupon the hammer turned in the air and flew back to Huro, Who snatched it easily. Pleased, Huro tucked the shaft of the hammer into His new belt.

As Huro resumed His noble task of protecting the civilized peoples of the world and scaring barbarians with His thunder, His uncle Sozho grew jealous of Huro’s popularity. Foolishly thinking He could beat the younger god, Sozho challenged Huro to a duel. Fearful of Huro’s hammer, Sozho stipulated that the gods would fight as birds: Sozho as an eagle and Huro as a rooster. Huro gladly accepted His uncle’s challenge. Numerous gods and goddess gathered to watch the fight.

With talons gleaming in the sunlight, the eagle Sozho swooped down upon the rooster Huro. At the last instant, Huro leapt into the air and met Sozho with His own sharp claws, digging deep into the eagle’s chest. As Sozho flapped away, blood stained His feathers. Before the eagle attacked again, He was stopped by ancient, heron-headed Sívorí, Goddess of Stars. Sívorí was concerned for Sozho’s safety; She did not want the King of the Gods to die. She quickly healed Sozho’s wound and released Him to fight again.

Sozho dove at Huro once more. Huro leapt up to engage, and this time He didn’t release. The two birds tumbled to the ground, Their feet latched into each other’s bodies, Their wings pounding furiously, and Their beaks stabbing to and fro. Blood streamed from both birds as They wrestled, stirring up dust all around.

Watching intently, Nuvíní could not stand to see Her favored son be injured like so. Her anguish grew to the point that She had to intervene. While the two gods twisted on the ground, Nuvíní took a spear -- enchanted it so it wouldn’t fall out -- and hurled it at Sozho. Unfortunately, She hit Huro by mistake. Huro howled in pain and released from Sozho. The eagle hobbled away, to be healed by Sívorí once again.

Huro changed back to His manly form and demanded to know who had thrown the spear. He tried to yank it from His side, but the spear wouldn’t budge. Nuvíní apologized profusely, called the spear back to Her, said She had aimed for Sozho, and healed all of Huro’s wounds. Huro glared at His mother, but accepted Her apology.

The King of the Gods transformed back to His usual shape, picked up His sword and battle gear, and demanded Huro resume the duel. With a curt nod, Huro fasted His belt and hefted His hammer. The two gods circled each other. Sozho did not want to get close enough for Huro to strike with His hammer, while Huro looked for an opening to get past His uncle’s magically impenetrable shield and around His breastplate. The breastplate was, in fact, the Tablet of Destinies, which proclaims its possessor to be the Ruler of the Universe and King of the Gods. Since it has lasted and will last the entire history of the universe, the Tablet of Destinies is naturally indestructible. Neither god bothered to throw lightning at His opponent, for They both mastered its use and it would only give energy to the other.

Suddenly a spear impaled Sozho’s back, thrown by Nuvíní. Sozho collapsed to the ground, twisting to see who had attacked Him. Seeing it was Nuvíní, Sozho begged with Her for mercy, on account of Their kinship and marriage. Meanwhile, Huro unfastened the Tablet of Destinies from His incapacitated uncle and held it aloft, proclaiming Himself to be the new King of the Gods. Exactly as all the elder goddesses had foreseen at His birth, Huro overthrew Sozho and become the Ruler of the Universe.

Just then, Nuvíní relented to Sozho’s pleading. She removed the spear from His back and healed the injury. When Huro saw this, uncontrollable lightning flickered from His fingertips as rage overcame Him. Not only had His mother hit Him with a spear, She had now compounded Her betrayal by removing Her spear from His adversary. Huro lifted His hammer and threw it at Nuvíní’s head. Before anyone could react, the hammer smashed into Her skull, shattering the bone into a thousand shards and scattering Her brains across the landscape.

As the assembled gods and goddesses stared in horror, Huro caught His returning hammer and stalked away from His mother’s lifeless body, pausing only to cow Sozho with a regal stare. Sívorí raced to the dead goddess and began a healing incantation, reshaping Nuvíní’s beautiful head and coaxing Nuvíní’s spirit back into Her form.

At the same time, red-haired Zhoro, God of Heat, declared that Sozho should go get the Tablet of Destinies back from Huro, but the air god was too scared. Thusly Zhoro rounded up a motley posse to go steal the tablet: goat-snake Zhaké, God of Rivers; Korutuzho, God of Agriculture, to Whom Zhoro had once given the tablet; golden Píríuso, God of the Sun; Zhoro’s unpredictable sister Rívorí, Goddess of Wildfire; and devious Zhíanoso, High God of Fire. From all directions, They attacked Huro. Píríuso filled the air with arrows all precisely aimed at the thunder god’s chest, Rívorí unleashed a gout of lava from the earth under His feet, Zhaké sent a torrent of water racing toward Him, Korutuzho sliced His sickle down at Huro’s head, Zhíanoso burned away the air all around Him, and Zhoro confronted Huro with sword in hand.

Huro blocked the arrows, sickle, and lava with the indestructible Tablet of Destinies, stood His ground as the river raced around Him, threw His hammer to knock Zhíanoso unconscious, but while Huro was distracted by all the other gods, Zhoro tackled Him. The hammer returned, but Huro was no longer in place to catch it. As They fell under the waves, Zhoro stabbed Huro through His heart. Huro continued to struggle, His strength still increased by His belt, but that power quickly diminished without a beating heart nor air to breathe.

Thus Huro died. Zhoro grabbed the Tablet of Destinies from His immobile hands and quickly raced back to Sozho, to Whom Zhoro gave the tablet. Sozho thanked the red god and declared Himself King of the Gods once again. Distraught, Nuvíní hurried to Her son’s body. To atone for Her earlier betrayal, She healed His wounds with Her magical script and restored life to Huro. Upon waking, Huro forgave Nuvíní. When She asked if He would attack Sozho now, Huro reminded Her that Sozho had challenged Him to a duel, not the other way around. If that eagle of the wilderness dared to attack civilization or Huro again, however, Huro would not hesitate to humiliate His uncle.

While Huro resumed His duties, Sozho continued to hold a grudge. The king’s jealousy of His nephew’s strength and popularity was now compounded by the fact that He had temporarily lost His throne to Huro and had only regained it through the actions of others. Thusly, Sozho searched for the day He could enact His revenge upon Huro.

A year or so later, Zhíanoso was in the form of a grizzly bear, frolicking in a mountain meadow, eating berries and such. Suddenly He couldn’t move His paws. They were stuck to the ground! Sozho flew down on His broomstick and laughed at the fire god, announcing that He now had Him trapped with a magic spell and would not release Zhíanoso till He agreed to do His bidding. Zhíanoso, of course, refused. He struggled to free Himself and failed, but still would not help Sozho.

Days and months passed. After eating all the berries within reach, Zhíanoso grew hungrier and hungrier. It became apparent to the fire god that if He didn’t agree to Sozho’s demands, He would die of starvation, stuck to that spot. Thus Zhíanoso relented. He asked what Sozho wanted Him to do. Gleefully, the air god instructed Zhíanoso to bring Huro to Him, but not as an adversary. He insisted that Huro think favorably of Sozho when They next would meet. Zhíanoso promised it would be so.

Upon His release, Zhíanoso ravenously emptied a nearby river of its salmon, then went to bring Huro into Sozho’s trap. To ensure that Huro would stand beside Sozho and not against Him, Zhíanoso reasoned that He needed to attack something -- or someone -- that They both held dear. Filling that description was Rézhíní, Huro’s wife and Sozho’s favored daughter. As such, Zhíanoso promptly caused Rézhíní’s death (knowing full well that Nuvíní could and would revive Her) and waited for Huro’s attack.

Thunder shook the air and lightning filled the sky long before Huro appeared. As the thunderheads burst, drenching the land in a violent deluge, Huro pointed His hammer at Zhíanoso and demanded vengeance. A sudden death would be insufficient. Zhíanoso needed an everlasting punishment.

Even though Zhíanoso held nothing back in His struggles, Huro quickly pinned Him against a large boulder. Sozho arrived with a length of enchanted iron chain and helped Huro affix the fire god to the rock. Huro then grabbed a viper out of the bushes and tied it over Zhíanoso’s immobilized face and made the snake drip venom continuously onto the captured god.

To this day and till the End of the Gods, Zhíanoso has been and will be chained to that boulder with viper venom dripping on His face, in punishment for killing beautiful Rézhíní. On the bright side, His plan worked. Huro and Sozho stood side-by-side, admiring Their work, chuckling with every scream from the fire god.

After a while, Sozho suggested Huro join Him for a drink to celebrate. Jovial, Huro agreed. Their rowdy imbibing lasted late into the night. Several hours and incalculable beer later, They were the only two remaining near the fire -- even Sozho’s brother Voro, God of Hearth Fire, had left the hearth for sleep. Eventually, uncle and nephew grew tired and decided to just lie together on the rug near the fire, in lieu of the long walk back to Their bedchambers.

As They lay together, Sozho enacted the second phase of His scheme. He inserted His penis between Huro’s legs and soon ejaculated. Unbeknownst to Sozho, Huro had put His hand between His thighs and caught His uncle’s semen. Huro would certainly never let any god have sexual intercourse with Him, but He held back His indignation to better outwit His uncle. After Sozho fell asleep, Huro crept out of the castle and washed His hand clean in the river. Knowing what Sozho would want for breakfast, Huro then proceeded to spread His own semen all over His uncle’s lettuce crop. He then returned to the hearth and laid down beside Sozho.

In the morning, Sozho gobbled down seven heads of lettuce with a big grin on His face, then called for a meeting of the gods. As everyone gathered in Sozho’s throne room, Sozho made sure that Huro stood beside Him. Almost laughing, the King of the Gods declared His dominance over Huro, for He had had His way with His nephew. At this, Huro guffawed and proclaimed Sozho a liar. He demanded Sívorí call forth Sozho’s semen to see where it actually was.

While all the gods and goddesses watched intently, Sívorí agreed and called out to Sozho’s seed. Much to Sozho’s surprise and chagrin, the reply sounded from the river outside. The assembly frowned in confusion while Sozho demanded that something was wrong. Sívorí assured everyone that Sozho’s semen was certainly not inside Huro as the air god had claimed.

At this point, Huro asked Sívorí to do the same for His own seed. Sívorí did, and to everyone’s surprise (except Huro), the semen replied from within Sozho. Huro clearly dominated Sozho, not the other way around. In a huff, Sozho flew away.

Huro stood alone beside the throne, the strongest of all the gods. In the none-too-distant future, when Zhíanoso escapes His bonds and the new age dawns, Huro will once again acquire the Tablet of Destinies and overthrow Sozho. Huro shall be the King of the Gods and the Ruler of the Universe, as is His right and privilege for being the dominant god in all the universe.

With His mighty strength, Huro defends civilization from invaders, destroyers, and Sozho’s desert wilderness. He shall strike down our enemies with lightning and thunder. Huro will always stand beside us as we protect our kingdom, for Naraka is the pinnacle of civilization and the greatest kingdom in the world.