Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Balance that budget, Bush!

Our President has given a budget to Congress that makes numerous draconian cuts, but still doesn't get the thing balanced. That's rather absurd, in my mind. Why not go all the way? If the budget is $2,570,000,000,000 and the deficit is only $427,000,000,000, I'm sure we can find some more programs to cut.

I remember a budget-balancing method that P.J. O'Rourke suggested: imagine somebody holding a gun to your kindly grandmother's head (or kindly relative of any type, if holding a gun to your grandmother's head would be grave-desecration) and then you have to decide if what's in the national budget is worth seeing your grandmother killed. So let's go through several departments...

Defense? Maybe we can trim a little pork fat, but, "Sorry, Grandma. It's for the good of the whole."

Veterans Affairs? They put their lives on the line for us, and now it's grandma's turn.

Education? ... I think the states will have to take care of this one. Grandma lives!

Transportation? Amtrak dies, not grandma, but how about those freeways and airports? Hm... Let's throw it back to the states, too. Grandma lives!

Housing and Urban Development? You gotta be kidding me. Grandma lives.

Interior? What do they do, anyway? Grandma lives.

Well, that's only a handful of the departments, and I already shaved $161,200,000,000 off that deficit! Now if we could just round up all the relatives of every congressperson...

1 comment:

Chandira said...

LOL.. Yes. Like all the COngresspersons that sent their kids to war in Iraq, there probably wouldn't be many of either side steping forward..