Showing posts with label elvis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elvis. Show all posts

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Merry Elvismas!

On this winter's day, so many years ago, a child was born to a poor couple in a small town known as Tupelo. From this humble beginning, against all the odds, this child grew to become the King.

To honor his birth, we'll now have a few words from our reverend:

"The King saw more trouble than you and I will ever know, and yet he rose above it and raised his voice for the world to hear -- until he had to Leave the Building. . .

"A long time ago, on old Earth, there was a poor boy. A mighty poor boy -- but one with a gift, and a spirit to make the most of himself. And make the most of himself he did. Why, in a few short months, he became the most imitated man on old Earth. He was on every screen, in every printout, on every frequency -- and he was takin' in money faster than this here casino. He could have had anything he wanted. And do you know what he did? He went out and became a soldier. Not an officer, now. Not even a sergeant -- a regular soldier, carryin' a gun and marchin' and takin' orders.

"Because he never forgot what it was like to be a poor boy. . . Not even after he finished with the army, and went back to givin' folks what they wanted. He didn't want to forget what it was like to be just a regular fellow, and he made sure he had somethin' to remember it by. So he never lost his touch with the real people. The little people like he'd been when he was still a poor boy. And they never forgot him. But he never put his nose up in the air. He could have gone anywhere in the world, talked to anybody he wanted to -- presidents and governors and ladies so pretty they could make you forget your name. But he wanted to stay close to the people. And so he went to Vegas . . . and brought his gift to folks who gambled their money there, 'cause it was the only way for them to rise above their unhappy state. That's when he really became the King -- when he brought himself to where the people who really needed him could see him.

"The King knows how you feel. He's been down low, and rose up high again. He took a walk down Lonely Street, and came back to Graceland. He went into the Army and did his duty like a man. When he had hard times, he knew how to make a comeback -- and he came back in style. He went to Hollywood, he went to Vegas, and he stayed the same as when he was a poor boy. And he can help you make your comeback, yes he can!"

-Reverend Jordan Ayres, Church of the King
(Robert Asprin, A Phule and His Money)

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Elvis Wedding!

I've suggested to Chunlin that we get married in Vegas -- an Elvis wedding!

But I don't think she's going for it.

The $200 savings for not needing a judge at the Seattle wedding would be offset by a minimum $200 for an Elvis wedding.

But still! Who would you rather have officiating your wedding? A boring old judge or an Elvis impersonator? C'mon, really. The judge won't even sing!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Long Live the Fertile Valleys!

Long live the fertile valleys
With your neon flashing
And your one-arm bandits crashing
All those hopes down the drain
Long live the fertile valleys
Turning day into nighttime
Turning night into daytime
If you see it once
You'll never be the same again

I'm going to keep on the run
I'm going to have me some fun
If it costs me my very last dime
If I wind up broke up, well
I'll always remember that I had a swinging time
I'm going to give it everything I've got
Lady Luck, please let the dice stay hot
Let me shout a seven with every shot
Long live the fertile valleys
Long live the fertile valleys
Long live, long live the fertile valleys

"Long Live the Fertile Valleys"
All-Wise Priest Clearing

Monday, January 08, 2007

Welcome to Adulthood!

On one of my calendars, today is Coming-of-Age Day (Japan). On another, today is Adults Day (Japan). The first name is a better translation. Today is the day when twenty-year-olds (the legal age of voting, drinking, etc.) dress up for ceremonies celebrating their ascension to adulthood. The new men wear suits. The new women wear traditional _furisode_ dresses.

In the past, Japanese boys became men at fifteen. Girls became women at thirteen. In 1876, though, twenty became the legal adulthood age.

In the U.S., a recent University of Chicago survey asked Americans when they thought adulthood started. The average answer was 26.

Physically, the fifteen/thirteen is probably closer to the truth. Emotionally, though, I'd say that these days even 26 is too early for a lot of people. . .

Too much coddling by parents/teachers/governments!

PS: Happy birthday, Elvis! And the rest of you, clean off your desk!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Don't Be Cruel, Hound Dog

Yesterday, I bought an Elvis Presley cd: 30 #1 Hits.

I like Elvis.

Buddy Holly is good, too, but he always has the same sound.

Elvis could (and did) sing anything. He had songs that were simultaneously #1 on the Pop, R&B, and Country charts. How is that even possible? Has anyone else ever done that? Would that be possible today?

Friday, August 11, 2006

The End of Elvis Week

The good folks over at Elvis.com say that Elvis Week extends to next Wednesday, but that's just crazy. Any "week" is Monday to Friday, plus maybe a weekend or both.

So, to round out your Elvis Week experience, here are a few more stanzas that the King did sing:


Well there's gold in the mountains, love in the hills
I don't need no city women with their diamonds and frills
There's gold in the mountains and oh what scenery
The prettiest girls I ever did see

-There's Gold in the Mountains



They say God made land
And He gave it all to man
Yes I know He's mighty good and true
There is no God, but God
And He knows everything to do
So just you call on Him
And He will share His love with you

-There Is No God but God



You know I'll be your slave
If you ask me to
But if you don't behave
I'll walk right out on you
If you want my love then take my advice
Treat me nice

-Treat Me Nice

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The King's Good Word

Come hear my serenade, my desert serenade
Wherever lovers dwell, it weaves its magic spell
Soon a thousand dreams will start,
And romance will fill your heart
My lips conceal love that's warm and real

-My Desert Serenade


You never order water
When you order south of the border
...In to kiss a lovely senorita
Ooh... the samba, la bamba
...I'll go where you go

-Mexico

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

It's still Elvis Week!

Let us bow our heads as we listen to the good word of the King:

Moonbeams play peek-a-boo
Three awake became two
And my song was almost done
When the land of Nod took one

-Five Sleepy Heads


Pretty girls eighteen to twenty-three
If their technique ain't what it should be
Get love instruction for free from me
Through the courtesy of the
Fort Lauderdale Chamber of Commerce

-Fort Lauderdale Chamber of Commerce

Monday, August 07, 2006

All hail the King!

I know you all are deeply distraught over the destruction of His teddy bear, Mabel, but we must persevere, for today marks the beginning of Elvis Week.

So let us all remember the words the great King sang:

If I have wounded any soul today,
If I have caused one foot to go astray,
If I have walked in my own willful way,
Dear Lord, forgive!

-"An Evening Prayer"

and:

I roar like the jungle, I fight tooth and nail
I just gotta get you, you'll fall without fail
I'm ready for the kill, I'm right on the brink
It's animal instinct

-"Animal Instinct"



Can I get a "Huh-huh-huh!"?

Friday, April 21, 2006

Holidays

January:
New Year's Day
Epiphany
Elvis Presley's Birthday
Coming-of-Age Day
Clean-Off-Your-Desk Day
Holy Day of Vítí
Ben Franklin's Birthday
Unhappiest Day
Australia Day
Seed Swap Day

February:
Groundhog Day
Chinese New Year's Day
Naraka Day
Waitangi Day
Holy Day of Néhété
Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day (Martian)
Presidents' Day
Holy Day of Nazhoro
Invasive Weeds Awareness Week
Narakan National Anthem Day
Mardi Gras
Holy Day of Vuzhí
Holy Day of Vuzhí (Martian)
Leap Day

March:
Texas Independence Day
Girl Scouts Week
Johnny Appleseed Day
Jet Lag Day
Holy Day of Hérazha
Vernal Equinox
Vernal Equinox (Martian)
Easter
Holy Day of Sozho
Feast of Zhaké

April:
April Fools Day
Holy Day of Rézhíní
Arbor Day (Washington)
Thomas Jefferson's Birthday
Tax Day
Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter Day (Martian)
Patriots Day
Holy Day of Rakazhazhíní
San Jacinto Day
St. George's Day
Feast of Vasataté

May:
May Day
Cinco De Mayo
Mothers Day
Holy Day of Sívorí
Mount St. Helens Day
Holy Day of Sorosotuzho
Towel Day

June:
Donut Day
Holy Day of Névazhíno
Flag Day
Fathers Day
Summer Solstice
Happiest Day
Holy Day of Zhíanoso
Feast of Hérazhahívo
Feast of Píríuso
My Birthday
Our Wedding Anniversary

July:
Chunlin's Birthday
Independence Day (Observed)
Independence Day
Viking 1 Lander Day (Martian)
Feast of Hívo
Apollo 11 Day
Holy Day of Zhoro
Cheesecake Day

August:
Elvis Week
Indian Independence Day
Feast of Kara
Feast of Rívorí
Holy Day of Rívorí (Martian)
Holy Day of Nanímo (Martian)

September:
Brazilian Independence Day
My Parents' Wedding Anniversary

Patriot Day
Feast of Korutuzho
Central American Independence Day
Birthday of Seth, son of Adam
Feast ff Nuvíní
Autumnal Equinox
Feast of Huro
Feast of Huro (Martian)
Rosh Hashanah
Jim and Bexley Lister's Birthday
Michaelmas

October:
Holy Day of Tarénara
Day of German Unity
Yortè
Canadian Thanksgiving
Columbus Day (Observed)
Columbus Day
Mariner 7 Day (Martian)
Boss' Day
Holy Day of Ríhíví
Feast of Rékaré
United Nations Day
Emma Revel Howland's Birthday
Halloween

November:
Feast of No
Election Day
Methuselah's Birthday
200th Day of the King's Return from the Eastern Continent
Feast of Rana
Veterans Day
JFK Day
Corrugated Cardboard Day
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving Friday

December:
Feast of Hívuítoví
Hanukkah
Réní-Mamurd's Birthday
Lucia Day
Bill of Rights Day
Feast of Pétíso
Winter Solstice
Christmas Eve Eve
Christmas Eve
Christmas
Third Day of Christmas
Sarıman New Year's Festival (Martian)
Narakan New Year's Day
Feast of Kérasa
Holy Day of Voro

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Burning Love leads to Stabbed Love

The next time you feel like listening to one song over and over again to celebrate the King's birthday, you might want to rethink it lest your girlfriend stabs you six times in the head with a pair of scissors. I guess she just didn't think he was a hunk a hunk of burning love. Go figure.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

The King

Don't forget that tomorrow is Elvis Presley's birthday.

All hail the King!