Merry Elvismas!

On this winter's day, so many years ago, a child was born to a poor couple in a small town known as Tupelo. From this humble beginning, against all the odds, this child grew to become the King.

To honor his birth, we'll now have a few words from our reverend:

"The King saw more trouble than you and I will ever know, and yet he rose above it and raised his voice for the world to hear -- until he had to Leave the Building. . .

"A long time ago, on old Earth, there was a poor boy. A mighty poor boy -- but one with a gift, and a spirit to make the most of himself. And make the most of himself he did. Why, in a few short months, he became the most imitated man on old Earth. He was on every screen, in every printout, on every frequency -- and he was takin' in money faster than this here casino. He could have had anything he wanted. And do you know what he did? He went out and became a soldier. Not an officer, now. Not even a sergeant -- a regular soldier, carryin' a gun and marchin' and takin' orders.

"Because he never forgot what it was like to be a poor boy. . . Not even after he finished with the army, and went back to givin' folks what they wanted. He didn't want to forget what it was like to be just a regular fellow, and he made sure he had somethin' to remember it by. So he never lost his touch with the real people. The little people like he'd been when he was still a poor boy. And they never forgot him. But he never put his nose up in the air. He could have gone anywhere in the world, talked to anybody he wanted to -- presidents and governors and ladies so pretty they could make you forget your name. But he wanted to stay close to the people. And so he went to Vegas . . . and brought his gift to folks who gambled their money there, 'cause it was the only way for them to rise above their unhappy state. That's when he really became the King -- when he brought himself to where the people who really needed him could see him.

"The King knows how you feel. He's been down low, and rose up high again. He took a walk down Lonely Street, and came back to Graceland. He went into the Army and did his duty like a man. When he had hard times, he knew how to make a comeback -- and he came back in style. He went to Hollywood, he went to Vegas, and he stayed the same as when he was a poor boy. And he can help you make your comeback, yes he can!"

-Reverend Jordan Ayres, Church of the King
(Robert Asprin, A Phule and His Money)