Thursday, November 03, 2005

Moisture Farm d'Owen

Every time I hear "Hotel California," these are the lyrics running through my head:

On a hot desert planet
I was not quite sure where
Warm smell of bantha fodder
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a flickering light
I threw my arms up and I yelled real loud
A Sandcrawler was in sight!

There I was in the transport
I hit my head with a bonk
And I was thinking to myself
"Why does that droid always say 'Gonk'?"
Then they opened the hatchway
And they showed me the way
There were two guys buying me out there
I thought I heard one say. . .

Welcome to the Moisture Farm d'Owen
Such a boring place, wish I was in space
Plenty of room at the Moisture Farm d'Owen
Any time of year, it's hot as hell out here

Luke's mind's Academy-twisted
He's got the Anchorhead trends
He's got a lot of pretty, pretty droids
That he calls friends
How they work in the courtyard
Constantly sweat
Luke wants to remember
Owen wants to forget

So I called up my master
"Artoo ran off this time"
"The chances of finding that droid
are one in sixty-nine"
And still those Tuskens keep raiding
From far away
Killing Jawas in the middle of the night
Hear the Stormtroopers say. . .

Welcome to the Moisture Farm d'Owen
Such a destroyed place, such a destroyed face
There's smoke rising up
From the Moisture Farm d'Owen
What a bad surprise, look into his eyes

Luke came back from the homestead
He was looking kind of glum
And Ben said "You'd've been killed too, Luke
There's nothing you could have done"
And in the Mos Eisley Cantina
I got kicked out from the feast
That's where they met up with Han Solo
And a big, hairy oaf of a beast

Last thing I remember
I was hiding behind a door
I had to find a passage back
To Docking Bay 94
"Blip blip," said the spy man
They were programmed to receive
They started shooting at our smuggler's ship
And we could barely leave.

5 comments:

Alyssa said...

I think that one is gonna go platinum.

Sotosoroto said...

Now if I can just get a band to record it...

Geographicallychallenged said...

Sotosoroto, did you pen those lyrics?

Sotosoroto said...

The concept and some of the lyrics have been floating around the internet since I was in college. But they had no rhthym and strayed too far from Hotel California's lyrics to be a proper parody. So I fixed it.

Geographicallychallenged said...

I need to find an Eagles CD so I can sing along.

It *was* the Eagles who sang Hotel California, wasn't it?