Um...

"Do you like children?" I asked.

The tall, blond man smirked and replied, "Yes, with a nice hollandaise. Yum yum."

I glanced down at my platter of condiments and pulled out the closest I could find. "How about ketchup? You like ketchup?"

The blond shrugged. "Meh. It'll hafta do." He yanked the glass bottle from my hand and immediately proceeded to race off across the soccer field, right at the two teams of eight-year-olds.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha!!" he cried.

"Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" the kids screamed as they scattered.

The ref blew his whistle and held up his yellow card.

The tall blond clocked the ref on the back of the head with his ketchup bottle as he charged past. The ref crumpled to his knees then pitched fowards onto his face.