Où est mon stylo rouge?

No really. Where'd it go?

News Roundup

The American Bar Association has pulled out of sponsoring a surfing competition for lawyers during their convention in Honolulu because they are afraid of being sued. The organizers have liability insurance, but apparently the ABA knows that's not good enough to stop lawyers! Oh well. At least they're self-aware.

. . . . .

In Tasmania, a bar with beer-drinking pigs has become the target of "animal-rights" activists. Patrons can pay to give the pigs a drink. The bar waters down the beer so the pigs never get drunk (a shame!), and evidently the pigs really like it. On slow days, the bar owners have to give the pigs a drink, or else they'd mope around or something.

The activists say that it's animal cruelty (the RSPCA disagrees) because pigs don't drink beer naturally. But do humans drink alcohol "naturally"? No, we had to work at it and use our great brainpower to create a beverage that ... diminishes our brainpower.

Since we're always being told that pigs are quite smart and similar to humans, why shouldn't our porcine friends benefit from our alcoholic creation?

But I suppose the real question is this: Do beer-fed pigs taste any different?

Don't Stop

Don't stop
Eating all your food
Don't stop
Lunch will soon be here
Lunch will be here
Better than before
Breakfast is gone
Breakfast is gone

rocks in my teeth

The city (at least I assume it's the city -- I didn't ask for proof of identification) has laid gravel down over most of the residential streets in my neighborhood. That was last week. They haven't been back.

So now the entire neighborhood is covered in loose gravel. Well, the streets, anyway. Turn a corner and the car fishtails slightly. Or try to turn onto an arterial from a full stop and the front wheels are just spinning.

I suppose it's a good way to teach the locals how to drive in adverse conditions.

But I got gravel stuck in my tires so they go clickety-clack-clickety-clack as I drive down the road. I removed three rocks this morning, but that was just the top of the left tires. Clickety-clack, everyone turns their heads to see the clickety-clack car go by. I like to be anonymous in my beige sedan. The city is ruining everything.

Lesson Learned

When next thou dost dive onto thine office's conference table, make certain to raise thine elbows. Or mayhaps, thou couldst wear a long-sleeve shirt.

'Cuz friction burns hurt.

Question

Does cruise control work in reverse?

Hot enough for ya?

Even the most temperate corners of the kingdom are having incredibly high temperatures. And you know why? It's because today is the Holy Day of Zhoro, the God of Heat!

So He's just doing His thing, nothing to worry about.

Except the metric system, of course.

When it gets really hot, the Fahrenheit thermometer shows 100°. When it gets really cold, the Fahrenheit thermometer shows 0°. But the Celsius thermometer shows 38° and -18°, respectively. How silly is that? Not nearly so useful for day-to-day applications.

Yet More Photos

I know, I know. I've been back for a week. So why am I still posting vacation photos? Well, it's just taken me this long to sort through them all. We'll just have to live with it.

Okay, so where was I? Oh yes. Yosemite.


Yosemite Falls, Yosemite National Park

This is where I turned around. You can see a bit of the handrail lower down in the bottom right:

Yosemite Falls, Yosemite National Park


Vikingsholm, Emerald Bay


Truckee River, Tahoe City


Bidwell Inn, Chester


West Sulphur Creek, Lassen Volcanic National Park


Pilot Pinnacle, Lassen Volcanic National Park


Sulphur Works, Lassen Volcanic National Park


Manzanita Lake, Lassen Volcanic National Park


Sundial Bridge, Redding


Sundial Bridge, Redding


Sundial Bridge, Redding


Castle Crags, Castle Crags State Park


Hillsboro, Oregon

And the rest. . .

So Let's Carve up California

Driving around the Golden State, I found myself oft asking, "Am I really still in California?" From rugged coasts to soaring skyscrapers, from dead-flat farmlands to snow-covered mountains, California is certainly one of the most diverse states in terms of geography.

But it's also diverse in terms of the "feel" of a region. Crescent City seemed like part of the Northwest. Mendocino to Monterey seemed like an endless string of B&Bs pierced by the swanky Bay Area. South of Big Sur, I felt the pull of Los Angeles (and desparately fought it). Go over the mountains down into the Central Valley and it's a whole other world (with lots of country and Christian radio stations). The east side of the Sierra Nevada had a similar ethos to the Central Valley. Tahoe was its own creature, with the B&Bs of the San Francisco coast thrown in with the pulse of the Nevada casinos across the border, all on top of the rural culture. And then back into the giant valley. Redding felt more like Barstow than Crescent City or San Francisco, despite the disparate distances involved.

So I propose four states: the far north (southern Jefferson), the Bay Area and coast, the Central Valley and Sierra Nevada, and southern California. In the early 1990s, a state legislator tried to get the state divided into two, and then three. He was trying to separate the northern portion (Chico (his hometown) and northward), but then cut off SoCal, too, to get more support. But that still left San Francisco in the same state as Fresno, and I just don't see that as a winning solution. There's a definite dividing line somewhere between San Jose and Modesto.

To find the exact borders, I'd suggest a (non-binding) vote where the voters can rank the areas they most associate with. It would probably be simplist to separate along county lines, but maybe some (San Bernadino County, for instance) really want to be split.

I wonder where San Luis Obispo would end up.

Urba Burba Durba Urba

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urba durba burba urba

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urba durba burba urba

How I spend my freetime

This evening, between laundry and dishes, I created the religious pantheon of the empire of Nyıkãgo, the land northeast of the kingdom of Naraka.

You see, it was important because I needed to create the profanity, "plague of Kínıtíní!" to go along with the other "plagues!" from the Narakan gods Ríhíví, Néhété, Rívorí, and Rékaré. Because, of course, the Narakan and Nyıkãgolese (well, actually, the Míníkese) pantheons were merged at the creation of the empire of Narakamíníkı. Thus the combined pantheon is used in Sarıma, the setting of Green Desert.

I've read chapters 1.1 through 2.1 to my critique group and one of their recent comments was that my curses were too familiar. So I decided it would be fun to figure out the entire pantheon of the Narakamíníkı-Sarıman gods.

Oh, and by the way, henceforth the powerful wargod Bènñèn shall be known as Pèngrkunãh, the love goddess Kanrítío shall be known as Auhèkmwèní, and the god of death Thèjí shall be known as Pèjísh. Okay?

Even More Photos

You didn't think I was done, did you?

Here are some more photos from my trip.


Cottonwood Lake 5


Horseshoe Meadow Road


Mammoth Mountain


Tuolumne Meadows, Yosemite National Park


Tioga Lake


Clouds Rest, Yosemite National Park


marmot, Clouds Rest, Yosemite National Park


Yosemite Valley, Yosemite National Park


that darn keyboard I tried to use, Yosemite Village, Yosemite National Park

And, of course, many more at Flickr.

Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?

Actually, being here in the office is all too familiar.

It's nothing like waking up the first couple nights back, looking around the room and out the window, and wondering what city I was in. . . . I'm a bit out of it upon waking, sometimes.