I didn't write it. . . I just posted it.

Controversial statements for the sake of controversy, courtesy of IMAO's Frank J:

* It should be illegal for women to get abortions under any circumstances. Also, the federal government should be able to impregnate women whenever it feels like it.

* The only people who should pay taxes are the poor as punishment for how little they produce.

* Gays should be allowed to marry... if they promise to stop being gay.

* American Indians should be deported back to Russia.

* The only legitimate reason for war is a slow news cycle.

* Not only should all Americans be able to carry guns at all times, they must carry guns! Also, they must carry katanas because my country is not going to be a place vulnerable to ninja attacks.

* There should be a holiday to celebrate rich white men.

* The Jews are responsible for all wars... both real and those depicted in movies. Also, the Cola War is all about oil.

* Let's not say "genocide" like it's a bad thing.

* There's no time to check for papers; anyone Mexican-looking should be immediately deported... as well as anyone seen eating a burrito. Taco Bell employees should be deported as well.

* Instead of Iraq being controlled by different Islamic factions, the government should be handed over to the Scientologists.

* Maybe Bush should be more like Hitler.

* In order to moderate Islamic beliefs, all us critics must first convert to Islam.

* I'm glad the Crocodile Hunter is dead.

With a good addition in the comments by Remulak MoxArgon:

*A "Hot Chicks Only" immigration policy.