Sunday, December 04, 2016

Moisture Farm of Owen

[A Star Wars parody of "Hotel California" by the Eagles]

On a hot desert planet
Coarse sand everywhere
Warm smell of bantha poodoo
Rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
I waved my arms and I yelled real loud
A sandcrawler was in sight

So I entered the transport
I hit my head with a bonk
And I was thinking to myself
Why does that power droid always say "gonk"?

Then they zapped my restraining bolt
And they showed me the way
There were two men out there buying us
I thought I heard one say

Welcome to the moisture farm of Owen
Such a boring place
Wish I was in space
There's plenty of room at the moisture farm of Owen
Any time of year
It's hot as hell out here

Luke's mind's Academy twisted
He's got the Anchorhead trends
He's got a lot of pretty, pretty droids
That he calls friends

How they work in the courtyard
Constantly sweat
Luke wants to remember
Owen wants to forget

So I called up my master
Artoo ran off this time
I said, the odds of finding that droid
Are one in sixty-nine

We're then saved by old Jedi Ben
Who lives far away
Jawas killed so my master takes flight
There's no one left to say

Welcome to the moisture farm of Owen
Such a destroyed place
Such a destroyed face
There's smoke rising up from the moisture farm of Owen
What a bad surprise
Look into his eyes

Luke returned from the homestead
He was looking very glum
And Ben said, "You would have been killed too, Luke
"There's nothing you could have done"

And in the Mos Eisley Cantina
I got kicked out from the feast
That's where they met up with Han Solo
And a big, hairy oaf of a beast

Next thing I remember
I was hiding behind a door
I had to find a passage back
To Docking Bay 94

"Blip blip," said the spy man
They were programmed to receive
They started shooting at our smuggler's ship
And we could barely leave

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