Wednesday, December 28, 2016

The One Jedi

[A Star Wars parody of "The Girl Is Mine" by Michael Jackson]

Thanks to Bib, I walked right into here
And I know you are annoyed
You will bring Chewie and Han to me
Either that or be destroyed

Profit or die
'Cause I'm the one Jedi
I would not lie
'Cause I'm the only one Jedi

I don't understand the way you think
Trying tricks upon my mind
There will be no bargain, young Jedi
Really just a waste of time

Prepare to die
Don't care you're Jedi
Don't waste your time
Because you'll soon be dead, Jedi

      Don't you dare shoot at me
      (Luke, you're standing where--)
Now I'm falling endlessly
(Panic we will share)

So one guard fell with me, the dungeon
Look out, here comes the Rancor
Now the guard is his dinner
And I'm grabbed by the monster
Into its big mouth I stick a femur

      I don't want the Rancor to slow down
      'Cause I really feel it's time
I know the Rancor has me trapped in here
But that gate will crush its mind

It has died
'Cause I'm the one Jedi
I did survive
'Cause I'm the only one Jedi

      You'll die
You'll die
      No no no, you'll die
The one Jedi
      You all will die
The one Jedi
      (You all will die)

Solo will die (die die)
Yep, he'll die (die die)
Wookie will die (die die)
Yes, he'll die (die die)

Don't waste your time
'Cause I'm the one Jedi
The one Jedi

      Jedi, you will pay for what you've done
Jabba, I think I told you, don't underestimate my powers
      I've heard it all before, and what kind of Jedi are you, without a lightsaber?
Well, I'm powerful enough to kill your pet Rancor
      You'll die for that
I killed it and it was easy
      I don't believe it (die die)

The one Jedi (die die die)
      No, Jedi
Jedi (die die)
      You'll die die die die die (die die die)
The one Jedi (die die)
      No, you will die
The one Jedi (die die die)
      No, you will die

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